Thursday, September 30, 2010

Things Dont Work Like They Used To

Did you ever experience a cluster of days where things little bylittle just stopped working the way they were meant to. That is me this week for sure!!

Our main computer froze the other day and we still have not been able to "thaw" it out, the kitchen light starter is broken and takes a few minutes to get warmed up, we are experiencing rain and the telephone line is full of static and Moms doorknob just fell off her bedroom door as I picked it up with my migraine I woke up with this morning. I suddenly just started laughing and said to Mom, man we have more broken things around here lately than things that work.

I then was reminded of my day on Tuesday. I volunteer at Moms senior center as I thought it was a good way for her to get out more as well as fill my need of wanting to find something for which I could give back to the world. Tuesday was a Fall party at the center and it was a lot of fun and I helped serve the lunches. After lunch the music began and I watched all these elderly people with their walkers, canes, hearing aids, bad eyes, missing teeth and many aches and pains singing and dancing and clapping. Behind me sat a younger gentleman who apparently had a stroke who was paralyzed but he asked his aid to help him out of the wheelchair and he began to move back and forth to the music and was smiling as well.

All these wonderful people have lost so much. They were not focusing on all the things that no longer worked. They joined together and did not focus on all those things but instead chose to continue despite them.

It is so easy to focus on the broken things. I realize while writing this that at times I hinder Mom from all the things she can still continue to do to make my life more convenient.
When she asks me at lunchtime would you like me to make our sandwiches I usually say no I can do that. I selfishly dont want the crumbs, and the mustard on the counter and what I refer to as cleanup in aisle three moments. I have to learn to compromise however. She can still make the sandwich. She wants to make them. She needs to feel useful. We all do!

I knew when I made the decision to join homes that it was not always going to be easy to share our five rooms as I had done it with Aunt Hilda. I also know however I invited her to give her a better way of life. I have come a long way with her. I however must focus on all the things that continue to work and allow her to do those things for which she is able despite them perhaps not being done perfectly.

I must stop complaining!....My headache is not a big deal compared to others problems, I have my laptop so the computer being broken is not something to over react over, the kitchen light turns on slowly, Im not left in the dark and so what there is static on the phone....I can still hear the person on the other end. I may have to count to 100 when Mom peels potatoes as Im running around the kitchen grabbing the flying skins so my little shit tzu doesnt choke to death. I have to remember, focus on what works!! Hey,I can still count to 100!!. Its not always easy but the end result I know when done correctly will be worth it.

Mom can no longer do many things for which I can see the sadness in her eyes. But like all those wonderful people on Tuesday they were encouraging each other to keep on going despite the broken things. I must learn to keep encouraging her as well!!

I close by saying, wow Mom, that afgan your working on is really coming out NICE!! and you know it really is.....its actuall Beautiful as is She!!


  1. yup, let mom do the things she can do for as long as she can do them, time will come she can't and you will know when that is. oh, it is clean up in aisle 2! lol

  2. I guess these things stopped working just so you could take the time to consider the bigger picture....
    I am guilty of doing things for my husband just because it is quicker, easier, less stressful. How would we feel if it were us? It is so easy to creep into parent and child mode.
    There is a new song around by Rumour - "Slow things right down..." and if we could do this and watch our loved ones retaining their independence for as long as possible. Oh in a perfect world........