Friday, May 28, 2010

Am I A Princess

Mom and I were sitting outside enjoying a nice Summer morning today. My neighbor next door babysits her two small grandchildren while her daughter and son in law go to work. She looked so tired and drained and I commented to her that I hope she can find a little time to take care of herself. She went into the house and came out a few minutes later with a wagon full of laundry on her way to the laundromat as she is not allowed to have a washer and dryer in her apartment. The poor thing was lugging the heavy load down the block wearing the same clothes for which she had on yesterday probably to save herself work. Wear it as long as you can versus lugging it. I said to my mother I feel very badly for Debbie. She and her husband do not own a car. Im not certain if it is because they cannot afford one or perhaps they dont want one but they grocery shop with the same cart as the laundry. I said to Mom. She really must think Im a Princess. Here I am sitting in a different tshirt and shorts than yesterday out here reading womans day books and there she is so exhausted. It really made me very blessed for everything that I have in my life. I dont think Im a Princess. Am I a Princess?

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Keeping The Gas Tank From Ever Reaching Empty

My husband is notorious for waiting until the car is almost registering the gas tank is empty before going to the gas station. I get anxiety when he does this. I dont understand this at all, it is not good for the car and it truly stresses me.
It reminded me that it is just as important to keep my gas tank full at all times as well. Dont wait until your thirty to drink, sip all day. Dont wait until your starving to eat, have something every few hours. Dont let your bodies go to empty. We cannot run ourselves down as just like the car engine we will suffer when waiting to be filled.
Ive been hearing that people are living to be 106-107. Some people would say, wow that is wonderful. When your the caregiver you think both wonderful and dread. I say dread respectfully because its hard for me to even imagine sharing my space for 15 or 16 more years. Not to mention that would make me 67-68 myself. I have to be sure to enjoy the journey. I have to be sure to enjoy my ride. I have to be sure to keep my engine running smoothly. Ready set, go, join me!! Start those engines. We dont know how many years we will be on this journey but at least we can try to make it a happy ride.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

The Face You See Is The Real Deal

I love the fact I am getting older and in about six weeks or so will be 51!! Yippee!!...It is wonderful up here world. Im finally at the point where I can be the real me!! Take me or leave me but this is the real deal. Blogging opens your heart and lets you freely write your story. I had so much anxiety when I was younger and it is refreshing to talk about it and let the world know Im not yet where I want to be but am sure glad Im not where I used to be. Its not easy when you live an invented life. You always have to be an actor. I always felt like I had to impress everyone. Im so grateful that is so not necessary. Youth really is wasted on the young. I spent so much time,energy and money doing things to just feel like I fit in. Stuff doesnt make you fit in if you are unfit inside. Im so happy that I love this person I am. I appreciate all I have and when feeling this way Im not resentful. When your at peace it is easier to make better choices all around. It is when we are resentful that we act out poorly and do things in the hopes of feeling better but in reality are just making things worse.. things will never bring happiness until we are healthy within. Sacrificing brings a lifetime of blessings truly does. So I am now wearing a happier face.....what your seeing is the real deal....I can now go out and walk the dog without makeup and hair done...who cares...however Im still proud of the days when I have the perfect hairdo and makeup....but it is for my happiness only...not for anyone else....