What Does Everyone Want

I am learning more and more as I get older that life is a compromise. When we learn to listen to each other it makes for a much happier life. I am learning that everything in life is not about only what I want or need. I was the one for many years that paid the bills, planned the meals, etc. One day my husband decided he would do the bills and at first I panicked and said NO!!..I had to be the one in control of everything!!. I finally did give them to him to do and it took a while to get used to but all of a sudden it was like WOW!! One less job for me...He wanted to do it...good for him!!. I want everyone to come home to a happy home. I want to know their opinions on dinner ideas. Im learning to ask what do you feel like watching tonight, or what do you feel like doing this weekend? I will admit, sometimes Im not thrilled with the answers but you give in. Every now and then when you hear someone else's opinion it can open the door to bright and new ideas that can really be a lot of fun. Im finding now that Im a little less "bossy" and care more for what everyone wants they actually come home and compliment my work much more. If anyone wants to cook dinner or do a load of laundry, go for it!!..I dont have to be in control of every thing that goes on anymore. This week I encourage you to do something a friend wants to do even if your not thrilled about it. It will be a gift to them and believe me you will get so much back in your life when you do what someone else wants once in a while.

Less Is Better

I sit here wondering why we feel we have to own so much stuff. My closets and drawers are jammed with things I hardly use but have to keep just in case. I overwhelm myself sometimes trying to pick out an outfit to wear as there is just so much to choose from. I overspend at the grocery store every week and many times wind up throwing spoiled things away. We buy the new gadget to replace the perfectly good one that we had because we just must keep up with the times. We have basements and attics stuffed with things we know we arent ever going to use. We eat things we are really not hungry for and realize arent good for us because we feel like it. I am making a vow to try so hard to not let my emotions control me. We must separate our wants from our needs and really appeciate and use the things we already have. We have to stop being so wasteful. There will always be a new version of everything!! When the old one breaks go for it. But lets all try to make a vow to use what we have and buy less. Ready, set, go....get into those closets. Im sure they are jammed with interesting things. Take them out and use them and if you really feel you never will either give it to someone who might like it or just put it at the curb on trash day. Someone will pick it up!!.. Just dont make room in order to shop again...thats cheating!!!! I believe in my heart that less ultimately will give us so much more.

Get Out And Do Something Fun - Make Memories

Life is stressful all week long. We all have responsibilites that we have to take care of. The weekend finally comes along. As often as possible we really have to try to get away from all the responsibilities and escape for a while. We must try and do fun and memorable things together as often as we can. Lets stop heading to the mall and spending money on things we dont really need. Many times we are just just going in order to get us out of the house. Lets take walks in the park, get an icecream cone with someone special, go to a movie. Think of a baseball game or a concert and how everyone is excited about the same performer or team. Everyone is rooting for the same goal. Spend time with people that understand you and will help you achieve whatever goal you are trying to meet. We all must take some time to unwind but lets make memories not build more clutter and stuff in our lives. Look back at some of your old photographs. Look at all the memories in front of you. Dont let making those memories stop. Keep enjoying the baseball games, the walks. Visit a museum or an outdoor market. Get away from the job once in a while. It will really help you perform better when you do and when the stresses of the week pop their heads in front of us we can think of the great plans we are having in just a few days. Having something to look forward to really is good medicine for everyone. Once our jobs are done we still will have to maintain healthy relationships and lives. We cannot take care of those relationships by constantly being stressed and working. Get those cameras out and get to the game and not only cheer for the team but for yourselves!!...Make a vow...even if its a cup of coffee for an hour go!!...

Managing Emotions

We definately are on emotional roller coasters from day to day. To add to this I am 50 and am also experiencing the changes that often come with those of us this age. It is easy to handle things in stride when feeling well but a bit more difficult when we are not feeling like ourselves. I am working so hard on managing my emotions. I work out, eat well, drink water, get enough rest, walk away from conversations or situations that are going to increase my irritable state. Of course like everyone else this doesnt always work and there are slip ups. When this happens, if I hurt someone with something I said or have done I immediately apologize. I dont condone not taking responsibility for bad actions. I however refuse to feel guilty. I look in the mirror and see the good person that I know I am. We are all human and will feel emotional from time to time. I have learned however that time spent is lost forever. We cannot get it back. I refuse to waste time on being bitter and emotional and guilty. Ride the wave of the emotions the best you can but somewhere try to find the joy because our lives will continue once this duty is done. I dont want to look back with resentment...so get that water bottle, those sneakers on and say to yourself it could always be worse...Here is to an emotional free day.....

Early To Bed, Early To Rise

Early to bed, early to rise

Regardless of our roles in life I believe going to bed at a decent and early hour is so important. It allows you rest and the ability to wake earlier in the morning. When you are able to be up hours early you dont feel as rushed, you can enjoy some quiet time alone, and the early morning truly is a very peaceful time. We cannot continue to run our bodies all day long and not get enough rest. It is like a car constantly being driven without stopping, it will run out of gas and overheat. We must be sure while we are speeding down the road of our lives we nourish ourselves as well as stop and get some good rest. Our bodies can only take and do so much. Listen to it..Rest it. Try to slow down just a little bit. All you are working to do would be a shame if you ran yourself down and were too sick to enjoy the final outcome. You definately cannot take care of anyone else if you dont take care of yourself...so get that rest...start today....

Throw Away All Bad Memories

It would be incredibly difficult to take care of my loved one if I did not throw away all the bad memories. Having the bad memories with me will only cause me to be hurt and angry and as I wrote in an earlier post you cannot feel these emotions and happiness at the same time. I truly believe all parents do the best they can with what they know. Some just know more than others, or followed what their own parents did to them. There has to be a time where we stop being victims of childhood. We must try to take responsibility to move on from the past and make our lives joyful. It was a different time and way of life back then. Embrace the present. Their is a reason they call it that....it is a gift. We have the ability to make the painful moments of the past disappear if we really want to. Lets make a vow today that whatever pain from our pasts we are keeping with us we are no longer going to be victims. We have all made mistakes or been hurt or done silly things...Give yourself a gift to forgive the past and embrace the present. It will really improve your ability to do the job you are faced with now.

Equanimity

I was reading something the other day and came upon the word equanimity. I had no idea what it meant so I looked it up.I found the definition to be a peace of mind and abiding calmness that cannot be shaken by circumstance. I loved it!! It became my favorite word. I try to say this to myself all day long....especially when things dont seem to be going my way.
I had my yearly physical Monday and of course get white coat anxiety as soon as the blood pressure cup comes near my arm. I went cold turkey twice, but the third time I closed my eyes and mediated on that wonderful word..equanimity...calm and peace despite circumstance and my pressure went down to a normal number. It works!!. No sense stressing. I now wait for the blood results. In my old days I would be pacing wating for the telephone to ring but instead am just repeating my favorite word equanimity. Peace and calmness despite circumstance. It just sounds beautiful to me. I must work on using this line every single day.....